Partnership and the Role of AI

Hello,

I feel really lucky that my husband and I get to spend our lives together. At the same time, we don’t always see things the same way. At our core, we have so much in common, but we each bring something different to the table. Most of the time, that balance works out beautifully. Sometimes, though, it becomes a challenge.

One recent challenge came this past spring when my daughter got her driver’s license. Practically the next day, she was in a minor fender bender with a parked car. Not long after, she also hit a mailbox.

As a result, we imposed limits on her driving. For one month, she could only drive to school, work, and practice, but no social outings. Our goal was to give her practice within safe, predictable boundaries.

Here We Go Again

Not surprisingly, the day her restrictions ended, she drove to her boyfriend’s house. Before she left, she asked me what time she needed to be home. Since the law clearly states that new drivers under her circumstances cannot drive past 9 p.m., I told her: “You need to be home by nine.”

Nine o’clock came. She wasn’t home. With the help of technology (Life360), I saw that she was still at her boyfriend’s house. When I called, she downplayed my concerns, said she was just leaving, and hadn’t realized that when I said nine, I meant literally nine.

This was her first day with her license, and I knew she would be mad at me for being mad at her. Still, I told my husband that I needed his support; I would handle the discipline, but he needed to stand with me.

When she did get home, I told her there would be a consequence. I didn’t know yet what it would be, but I wasn’t going to discuss it late at night; since I didn't anticipate she'd blatantly disregard her curfew and the law, I was ill-prepared for how to address it.

A Difference of Opinion

Later, when my husband and I getting ready for bed, I asked him what he thought would be an appropriate consequence. He suggested we simply talk to her about the importance of following rules. No consequence. For him, that was enough. For me, it wasn’t.

To me, doing nothing was insufficient. I wasn’t looking for “a pound of flesh,” but I also wasn’t willing to let this slide. My husband felt dismissed, and I felt alone. We went to bed without resolution, and the next day the tension was still there: he felt unheard, and I felt unsupported.

Here's my question for you: Would you be okay if your child had just regained driving privileges, asked you what time she needed to be home, was told nine, and then didn’t arrive home on time without even calling? What would you do? What would the right consequence be?

Enter AI as a Thought Partner

Around this time, I had just finished reading The AI Driven Leader by Geoff Woods, which asserts that the future is not about avoiding AI but about how humans interact with it. Our role is to be the thought leaders, while AI serves as the thought partner.

So, I decided to put that idea into practice.

I typed the entire situation into AI, including details about my daughter, my husband, and the disagreement about the weight of the consequence. I asked AI to "Please interview me by asking me 1 question at a time about this to help me think about how to address my daughter and then propose 3-5 possible responses in prioritized order with explanations to support the proposal." In the prompt, I even included my husband’s perspective—that she should just get a warning—because I wanted that taken into account.

The questions AI asked were thoughtful:

• Why did I feel a warning wasn’t enough?

• What outcome was I hoping for?

• What values was I trying to reinforce?

After ten questions, it offered five possible responses, including why each response would be worth considering and what to say given that consideration. I ended up blending elements from three of them, creating a solution that felt both balanced and fair.

I’m sure you’re curious to learn how all of this played out. After working through my AI conversation, I landed on a set of statements that felt balanced:

1. “Before you can drive at night again, I need you to come up with a plan for how you’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again—including what you’ll do if you’re running late and how you’ll take responsibility.”

2. “We need to talk about how you handle accountability. I want you to think about why you were defensive last night and write down (or tell me) three things you could do differently next time.”

3. “We’re going to treat this as a warning this time, but if it happens again, you’ll lose night driving privileges for a week. What do you think you need to do differently next time?”

While Lilia was defensive and lacked real accountability the night before, during this conversation, she was reflective and accepting. These statements helped strike the right balance of accountability and compassion.

The Takeaway

Ultimately, this wasn’t just about my daughter being late. It was about leadership, partnership—with people and with technology.

• With people, we constantly navigate the tension between compassion and consistency.

• As partners, we sometimes disagree on the how, but we need to back each other up on the why.

• And as humans in an AI-driven world, we can leverage technology not to dictate our decisions, but to sharpen our thinking.

This situation reminded me that parenting is leadership and partnership in its most personal form; partnership requires support even in disagreement, and AI can serve as a powerful mirror for our values.

In the end, this story is not just about curfews or car keys; it is about the choices we make as parents, partners, and leaders. The real lesson was that partnership with both people and with technology can help us see situations more clearly and respond with both firmness and compassion. By inviting AI into the process, I found clarity and confidence in my response. I hope that you find ways to use AI, and your human partnerships, to strengthen your own decision-making in the moments that matter most.

~Heather

P.S. This week’s Catch of the Week goes out to two inspiring educators and podcasters, Courtney Groskin and Violet Christensen.

By day, Courtney and Violet are dedicated instructional coaches, supporting teachers and students with passion and expertise. By night, they bring that same energy to their podcast, the C3: Coaches’ Cognition Connecting Podcast, where they share powerful conversations that uplift, challenge, and connect the education community.

I had the joy of joining them recently to talk about engagement and my book Engagement is Not a Unicorn (It’s a Narwhal). Their warmth, thoughtful questions, and genuine enthusiasm made the conversation flow in such a natural and meaningful way. They truly light up any room—whether in person or virtually—and I am grateful to have crossed paths with them.

👉 Listen to the episode here: Engagement is Not a Unicorn—It’s a Narwhal: Real Strategies for Real Classrooms

📲 Follow them on Twitter: @C3Coaches 🎧 Download their podcast: Connecting Coaches’ Cognition

Thank you, Courtney and Violet, for the work you do every day to lift others up and for being such a positive force in education and beyond!

P.P.S. Please remember to...

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